“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” — William James
Before you go anywhere or try something else there are two things that will slow you down until you finally yield to them. They are acceptance and forgiveness.
There have been several times in my life that I felt “stuck”, like cinder blocks were attached to my feet as I took each step. During those times I felt distraught, disappointed in myself, like I was letting others down, and doubtful I could ever change or do better. I remember trying so hard to define every quality I lacked, to be someone I wasn’t, and ultimately hammer myself more firmly where I was seeking to be free from!
It took me years to notice I was doing this. And once I realized it, I became mournful, full of regret and anger towards myself, and ashamed that I would never be what I thought I “should” have been. For me, this was huge! Because, when I was finally willing to accept this, I was able let all of that toxic emotion towards myself go. That was a glorious day when I let go. No more cinder block, Baby, I was free to fly!… I was Free.
Until then, I had never seen that my idea of who I “should” have been was totally separate from the reality of who I really was. I was never open to that as an option, so all of my “shoulds” were considered absolutes to me. This, my friend, could not have been further from the truth!
Acceptance is not an ability, it is a willingness. The willingness to accept something, can be extremely difficult and stretching. When I realized that I could not go on unless I fully accepted myself as I already was, even at my lowest, it became a moment by moment choice I had to make. Every step I took, every thought I had, every word I said, the good and the bad… all of it. I could’ve continued to avoid it all by trying harder to meet expectations or fulfill obligations, but that wasn’t working for me. I knew I had to stop what I was doing, stare myself down for as long as it took for me to whole heartedly accept who I saw. Please do take my word on this, the sooner you are willing to accept yourself, the freer you will feel when you do. The very moment you experience true self-acceptance you will wonder why you waited so long!
When I say self-acceptance, what does that mean? For the longest time I blamed circumstances, then people, then more circumstances, then more people, then location, until finally realizing I was my biggest problem! I had lost everything and pushed everyone away, so I was very alone and I was sitting in the very seat of the source of all my problems. This was a milestone moment in my life. I couldn’t look in the mirror until I finally accepted everything I had done to hurt the people I love, the past that haunted me, the faces of people I wish I had never met. All of it. I had to accept it all before I could take the first step toward freedom.
It took me several months and continues on a daily basis now, but I did that! And because of that, I’m free of who I once was, so I can finally be everything I was created to be. So, learn from me, dear friend, and this is hard to hear, but it is a choice to accept the uncontrollable anything in our lives. In order to take the very first step out of your stuckness, that’s what you need to do. It worked for me. What will you choose?
You are free to accept!